BMC has realized that, building and running malls will be more lucrative than patching the roads just a few days before the monsoons and re-patching them again and repeating the same for a few more times.

BMC wants to build malls in the city. BMC mall is a great idea. I am totally FOR it. I know what to expect… and I know BMC will meet my expectations. U2B.in gives you all an opportunity to look at the 1st design model of our BMC mall. You are special this is an exclusive design preview. Just for you.


Click here to enlarge (the image silly, not penis)

Following are the salient features/amenities that one can expect (for sure) in the BMC mall.

1. The mall will be built in Dharavi area. This is mainly to benefit the entire slum dwelling community.

2. Exclusive branding rights will be granted to Shiv Sena… and only Shiv Sena. This is to ensure there isn’t any ruckus created by the loyal sainiks for any reason whatsoever.. (this includes the content posted by all social networking sites).

3. Peacock is not our national bird anymore… Chicken is. A larger-than-life Chicken model will be displayed prominently to welcome all. BMC will provide ‘Bird-Flu-Free’ FREE Chicken for all shoppers.

4. Parking will not be an issue, as all parking lots will be occupied by our ‘Go-Mata’(Cows). Auto-rikshaws can freely move inside. Shoppers / Visitors can spit anywhere. Don’t save your spittle anymore! Spit it out…now…

5. There will be enough stray dogs in the mall premises to entertain your pets. They can go and hump any stray they like. Stray dogs courtesy: Maneka G.

6. Urinating is your birth right too, and you should have it. ‘Do not urinate’ boards will be prominently displayed, but feel free to pee wherever you want to. This mall is by the people and for the people.

7. Go hit your wife, drink, drink a lot and come here to puke. You can also roll in your own puke. (absolutely FREE)

8. We hate Bihari bhaiyyas… They will not be allowed inside the mall. However, they can sell vegetables etc. outside the mall.

9. Senior citizens can roam around in their chaddis for extra comfort. We care for you.

10. The mall will have an exclusive section for ‘Marathi Manoos’… Hurray!

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