Aishwarya, I strongly feel you should marry me… I am made for you.

1. You will get an entry into the prestigious ‘Iyengar’ family. Bachchan surname is too common and boring…Also, at my place your privacy will always be respected. We don’t have any visitors… even our neighbors ‘hairless dog’ chintoo, refuses to enter our place.

2. I am just one month and a few days younger to you… I will understand you better than anyone else. As per numerology I think we are made for each other.

3. I must be an inch or two shorter than you. So, you don’t even have to strain your neck ever. I have already added extra 8 inch heels to my shoes and chappals…Things will be soo easy between us. Na??

4. I know you like men who are Metro sexual. I sport 2 pony tails these days… I am anytime better looking than the guys these days, who roam around in hair bands. You know what? Infact, these days, I wear only ladies innerwear… especially, the satin ones with frills and net. I am sure you will like it.

5. After our wedding, you can call yourself ‘Aishwarya Shivkumar’; it sounds soo nicee… You can also abbreviate it to ‘ASs’. Sanjay Jumani, my numerologist told me that, appending a small ’s’ to AS will ensure you a great future.

6. My dad is a bigg fan of yours. He is soo much in love with your ‘Kajara re’ number that, last year during our societies’ New Years’ eve celebration, he grooved with our ‘Aishwarya Bai’. BTW, our sweeper Gajya’s wife is also Aishwarya… Aishwarya Bai. Again a co-incidence na ??

7. I have a maid too, to take care of all your needs. She is unlike other house maids.. She has her own wardrobe in my bedroom… but you don’t mind that ok ?? She’s just a nuisance value. We’ll get rid of her soon. She has a ‘very’ good for nothing little boy. You can use this little boy ‘Aaditya’ to run errands. Ash, let me warn you right away, sometimes, this boy calls me ‘Appa’… you just ignore that ok ?? ‘Appa’ in tamil means ‘Uncle’.

8. With me you don’t have to worry about IT raids etc. This year I got 30% increment, my office accountant told me that I don’t have to pay any tax.. soo good no??

9. I know you like Hari Singh (Seceratary/Manager) very much and you can’t live without him. Don’t worry about him dear… You know Ram dayal na ??, arey, the security guy from Shri Dutt Krupa Hsg. Soc. Thankfully, day before yesterday he eloped with Meena Tai’s sister Sushila tai. So I promise you, I will get him a job at Dutt Krupa.

10. Hey last but not the least.. You were selected Miss World right ?? Even I was Mr.Airoli last year. Co-incidence again!!!

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