An open letter to Keira Knightley

Today (10/01/2007) morning I was reading this article in Mumbai Mirror about Keira Knightley. This beautiful lady is suffering from Anorexia, and it seems it runs in her family.

Hereby, I am writing this note to Ms. Keira Knightley on behalf of all my South-Indian brothers and fathers. Madam, I was absolutely shocked to see your photo in one of our local news papers…you looked like a super model straight from Somaalia.. what is this ma ?? A lady can’t be that wafer thin…

I am sorry.. That’s’ cruelty to South-Indian-Man-kind… this is Just not acceptable.. Men like me and 1000s of my fellow South Indian male cannot tolerate such nonsense..

I think, if I shave off my moochee, chest, Arms and legs.. I will certainly look better and perhaps, I will be compared to the sultry Naomi Campbell. Who knows..?? Anything is possible here.. they may also start worshiping me.Keira, you should eat more maa… enne idhu ?? eat more pizza’s or get on high calorie diet and jusstt put on weight maa.

How can you maintain that figure..? Who likes it anyways ? You know what, being a South Indian male, we have always been in love with reasonably plump ladies… We feel too bad to see skinnies.. Where’s the meat ?? More the merrier.There are these legendary ladies down south, who’ve got noticed in the past for their SUPER (READ HEAVY) bods, and were conferred prestigious titles like ‘Silk Smitha’ (smooth as silk), ‘Madipu Hamsa’ (Madipu is folds in Tamil, Hamsa had multiple folds on her tummy), disco Shanthi.

A little crow (from south) told me that, the men in Chennai have formed a new club for you.. “Kai-ra Nite-tu-ley clupp”. They’ve started going around collecting pure ghee tins, payasams, pissaa’s, burgers and several such high calorie food products. We will be sending the same to you soon…as a goodwill gesture from Chennai, we humbly request you to ‘NOT’ neglect your health and start eating properly and put on some good weight. Grab the title that is awaiting you ‘Soopar Kai-ra’… Go for it maa. All the veryy best to you.

Yours truly,

IYENGAR SHIVKUMAR PARTHASARATHY

NB: CLICK HERE to checkout the mind blowing Pix of anorexic Hollywood celebrities. (Purely Photoshopped)

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